Maggie’s journey into the outside world was both equal parts lovely and extremely difficult.
I had a scheduled c-section for July 24th that was spontaneously rescheduled three different times due to placenta failure. First reschedule was for July 17th and then July 15th which ended up being her birthday 🥳
Hubby and I were well prepared and arrived two hours before surgery for preparation. Things felt exciting at this point, but also rather calm. When you’ve anticipated something for SO long, it doesn’t actually feel real until it is.
It was when I was laying on the OR table numb from the chest down that it really began to hit me.
The spinal tap was truly one of the most difficult and painful moments of this whole experience. This was my second c-section but with my first baby it was by emergency due to fetal distress, and I already had been laboring unmedicated for 9 hours. By that point I felt so dull and numb from the rapid painful contractions that I didn’t feel the needle in my back at all.
So, this was certainly a different experience, and I was seconds from throwing up before it was all over.
The entire surgery from start to finish took about 1 hour. I felt no pain or temperature, but I could feel every pull and tug on my stomach which was one of the strangest sensations and it does have the potential to be painful in certain ways.
While my husband sat behind my head and my view was entirely blocked from a sheet, it was mere minutes before Maggie was pulled out.
When I didn’t hear her immediate cry, which is normally the “good” sound you look for, I lost it emotionally. At this point I was so terrified for her wellbeing that I was causing a rapid spike in my heart rate, and I felt like I could no longer breathe. Oxygen was given to me and all I could do was wait and try to calm myself down with deep breaths.
There was a large NICU team present, and they were so fast in swooping her to the other side of the room that even my hubby - who’d been watching the surgery - didn’t catch a single glimpse of her.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I heard a tiny little cry - once, twice - from across the room, I lost it again but in a good way.
My hubby was brought over to see her and the neonatologist came over to me to briefly inform me of her condition. She appeared to be breathing super well and only needed a little help with oxygen but was otherwise stable and ready to head to the NICU floor.
This is when I was able to see her for the first time as the nurses brought her over to me. I was immediately SHOCKED by how tiny she was. Her entire head fit snug inside the nurses hand, she had an oxygen line taped under her tiny nose and her eyes were closed.
I started speaking to her and calling her by name and her eyes began to flutter. I can only hope that she was able to recognize her mommy’s voice. I couldn’t believe she was finally here.
She was taken away after but a small moment while hubby followed and I was left to wait for them to stitch me up.
When it was all over, I received the kindest farewell from a few nurses reassuring me that Maggie would be well taken care of, and my doctor came to thank me for trusting him to deliver our special baby - he told me we both know who’s in charge now and that he would say a prayer for special Maggie. This really warmed my heart.
Might I add at this point that many surprised comments from the medical team had been passed around by the amount of amniotic fluid I was carrying. The entire table and the floor below was covered in fluid when the sac was originally punctured. I myself was soaked (but couldn’t feel it) I just saw it briefly when I was taken back to my recovery room.
This has been the start of another journey for us, just a new chapter in the book of motherhood and Maggie’s story has only just begun. After an incredibly difficult pregnancy I had simply willed with God to allow me just a mere moment with our Maggie. That’s all I was asking for Him and her to give me. I’m over the moon to say that they’ve already given us much more than just that.
We love you Miracle Maggie.
** note to add: I spent the next two hours in a “median” recovery room where I patiently awaited for my husband to send me all the photos he was capturing of Maggie while in the NICU with her. Thank goodness for great hospital Wi-Fi.
After I appeared stable enough, I was taken to my actual recovery room where I had to wait nine very long hours before seeing my baby. It was truly a very long day.
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